"All of my life in every season, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship!
Desert Song (Hillsong)
It's inevitable, we must all go through different seasons and times of transitions, but can I be honest for just a moment and say, it's hard sometimes! Lately I have not been able to explain it, but I have felt discontent and distant from the Lord. It's not that I wasn't in the word, I was, but I finally hit me when Dad preached on Attitude, this one specifically was "Hungry" It was then that I realized I am desiring more and am hungry, longing for God to take me from where I am to a new place. I am in transition and am ready for a new season, but must learn to embrace the season I am in right now, As Mordecai said to Esther, "You have been prepared for such a time as this, " we too must embrace and welcome the current moment we are in rather than longing to see the answers ahead even in the next month. I don't want to miss where God wants to use me now, because I am wishing ahead. I must trust him in any and all things! To worship with joy because I know through it all, He is with me! That can be so hard though right? Saying it and even meaning it is the easy part, but its the putting faith into action that is the test. As many of you know I was able to go to California this summer and do an amazing internship at Bayside Covenant. Before even returning home I didn't want to leave, I absolutely loved it out there and truly thought that was Gods will, to move me to California! I'm not saying one way or the other, because only He knows, but lately he has shown me , I know NOTHING! I can't help but think that is exactly where He wants us though. Its times like these I really see how much I try to do, when the one who desires to have it all knows all of the things I need before I even ask. So why is it hard for us, to be even more real, why do I continue to worry, and even panic thinking I need to take care of things. Its as if I am saying, "God, you've never forsaken me, but don't forget this one thing!" When put like that it seems so foolish, who would say that to God, the one who is the provider, and is for me?! But we all do it in some way or another. It's a constant battle to live in the spirit and trust, rather than die to the flesh and worry about everything.
Going back to feeling discontent, I could not grasp what was going, the only way I could explain it is that I was in a funk, and desperately needed to shake it off. Thankfully, nothing in my life is terrible, I am blessed, I have a wonderful and healthy family, and a God who loves me, but I was saying in my actions that wasn't enough! How SCARY! So what to do? What do you do when you just feel blah! Do we run to our girlfriends, a husband, a carton on ice cream and a spoon, or ill let you feel in the blank? Whatever it is, we may find a very SHORT temporary sense of relief but it won't last. The best and only thing you can do in this situation is to RUN to Jesus. Isaiah 26:20 says , "Go, my people, enter your rooms and shut the doors behind you; hide yourselves for a little while until his wrath has passed by."
Another version says ,"Let us keep close to the Lord, and separate from the world; and let us seek comfort in secret prayer."
That is the very thing we need and must do! Take some time, get away from the distractions and even the noise of the world, and just sit and wait until the peace of God comes and refreshes your heart.
Jeremiah 29:13 says, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
I'm not sure who, if anyone is in the midst of feeling this way, but if you are stay encouraged and push through this funk, and although it isn't easy embrace this season until he tells you to take the next step. Continue to draw near to God, He longs to draw near to you!
Praying for refreshed hearts!
-Han
