Waiting...

Music is a huge passion of mine, and i absolutely love it when I come across a song that ministers to where I am in my walk with the Lord. I watched fireproof for the first time about a month ago, ( If you have not already seen it, rent it!) And I heard this song and it brought me to my knees. I wish i could honestly say I am so content with everything going on in my life right now, but i am not. I have been wrestling with the enemy in defeat over and over again, and refuse to let him have the glory, but I am in need of so much more! There are so many questions I want to know the answers to, things are happening that make absolutely no sense,I have hurt more recently more than ever before, but i know there is a point to it all, and even though I may not understand now or even later, he is in control and holds the bigger picture in his hands! ( Such simple truth, but words I am desperately clinging to at the moment.) I'm finding it is in these moments of true heartache and surrender that The Lord is saying "Hannah, I am the ONLY one who can give you peace, No one knows you like I do!" Yes, the comfort of a friend is nice, but to receive the fathers comfort and only HIS is powerful! When I talk to a friend the hurt is lifted for a moment, but is brought up again, BUT when the lord is brought in it is a one time deal, dealt with, and finished! In the past i have been SO quick to "run to the phone before the throne" I place security on the person on the other line, more than the one who made me! And Ironically as hard as that first night was to not have that person pick up, i am thankful. I was able to cry to the Lord and let him lead me to where i needed to go. 

Please don't get me wrong, I am still at peace with the Lord, and his plan for my life. Troy has been an INCREDIBLE experience for me and there is no doubt I am right where he wants me to be, but I am learning to cling to him now more than ever before.

I strongly believe its right now through this hard time and just "Yuck"of life, that he is shaping me into the woman of God he has called me to be. 

After all, he never said it would be easy, just that it would be worth it in the end!

So in the meantime, I am waiting, I am praying for peace and not to be anxious about what lies ahead but to rest in the peace that he has a great and perfect plan for my life.