Waiting...

Music is a huge passion of mine, and i absolutely love it when I come across a song that ministers to where I am in my walk with the Lord. I watched fireproof for the first time about a month ago, ( If you have not already seen it, rent it!) And I heard this song and it brought me to my knees. I wish i could honestly say I am so content with everything going on in my life right now, but i am not. I have been wrestling with the enemy in defeat over and over again, and refuse to let him have the glory, but I am in need of so much more! There are so many questions I want to know the answers to, things are happening that make absolutely no sense,I have hurt more recently more than ever before, but i know there is a point to it all, and even though I may not understand now or even later, he is in control and holds the bigger picture in his hands! ( Such simple truth, but words I am desperately clinging to at the moment.) I'm finding it is in these moments of true heartache and surrender that The Lord is saying "Hannah, I am the ONLY one who can give you peace, No one knows you like I do!" Yes, the comfort of a friend is nice, but to receive the fathers comfort and only HIS is powerful! When I talk to a friend the hurt is lifted for a moment, but is brought up again, BUT when the lord is brought in it is a one time deal, dealt with, and finished! In the past i have been SO quick to "run to the phone before the throne" I place security on the person on the other line, more than the one who made me! And Ironically as hard as that first night was to not have that person pick up, i am thankful. I was able to cry to the Lord and let him lead me to where i needed to go. 

Please don't get me wrong, I am still at peace with the Lord, and his plan for my life. Troy has been an INCREDIBLE experience for me and there is no doubt I am right where he wants me to be, but I am learning to cling to him now more than ever before.

I strongly believe its right now through this hard time and just "Yuck"of life, that he is shaping me into the woman of God he has called me to be. 

After all, he never said it would be easy, just that it would be worth it in the end!

So in the meantime, I am waiting, I am praying for peace and not to be anxious about what lies ahead but to rest in the peace that he has a great and perfect plan for my life.

"Open up my eyes to the things unseen"

Some of the beautiful girls from our group during Disciple Now!

Written by Hillsong, the song hosanna could not be anymore fitting for this time in my life.

"Heal my heart and make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen, show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart for what breaks yours, everything i am for your kingdoms cause, as i walk from earth into eternity!"

I had the most INCREDIBLE weekend this past week and i have to give glory where glory is due

I was asked to help lead worship for d-now this past weekend with FBC here in Troy as well as to lead a group of 11th and 12th grade girls. My room-mate Janie also came along and together we got to led an amazing group of young women.

I immediately responded with yes, little did i know just how much God would do in just three days. After meeting the girls on friday we went and had worship, a sermon spoken by David Nasser (amazing) and then we headed back to our host family's house and began to build relationships with the girls. On saturday we had another session and worship and then went out to do our service project. We took the girls to the Troy Rehabilitation center where we passed out valentines and got to sit in on a saturday morning sermon. The people were so receptive to our love and we were just as blessed as they were. After leaving there we went back to the church and had some good "youth group fun" and then headed back later that night for another session. For those of you who have not heard of David Nasser, I encourage you to look him up and read every book he has written! God is using him! After getting back late saturday night Janie and I led a discussion with the girls and asked them to share what all had been revealed to them. Little did  I know what God would do the very next day! On sunday morning the band led worship and David spoke one last time. Throughout the weekend he was preaching on Grace and based it out of Ephesians 2:1-10. After sharing his testimony and being real with the congregation, chains slowly began to come off throughout the church. As he concluded his sermon he gave an invitation of salvation and people came forward. People from all ages and lastly 2 of my girls i had been discipling over the weekend. Having just talked to each of the girls the night before about Gods grace it was incredible to be on the other side and see there broken and humbled hearts cry on the name of Jesus. As i sat in the pew weeping I began to realize this is what its all about. From that moment on the Lord has blessed me with a new vision. I long to see the things I have overlooked in the past, and I want my heart to break for what breaks his!

As Romans 11:36 says:

"For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever. Amen"

Worthy is the lamb

I attend 8:29 on Wednesdays at FBC here in Troy, and learned the coolest thing during the sermon last night so i thought I should share:

The local youth minister at FBC in Troy went to Kazakstan last summer on a mission trip and as a sign of appreciation the KZ people offered them a lamb for dinner one night. In KZ it is a huge honor to have lamb for dinner, but the biggest honor is who will slaughter the lamb. Obviously to a group of Americans, all were a little frightened, so Jared, the youth minister decided to take one for the team. He began to slaughter the lamb and was amazed when the lamb did not struggle for his life or even make a noise, but lied there as a sacrifice for many. 

Now i'm sure you get where i'm going with this.

It's no coincidence that Jesus is the lamb of God. I know many of us have heard all of our lives, he made the ultimate sacrifice when he gave his life, as if that isn't powerful enough, he walked up the hill of calvary, sweating, in pain, bleeding, and hungry without even making a sound. What a beautiful picture that is, he loves us so much that even when he knew blood, tears, and nails were involved, he did it anyway for YOU and I. 

Isaiah 53:4,7

(V.4)Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities;the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.

(V.7)He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth;he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.

Worthy is the lamb who was slain, to him be the glory forevermore!!

Steadfast Love...

"I trust in the steadfast love of God forever and ever."

Psalm 52:8

I do not know what it is about the word steadfast, but it has reoccured over and over and over again in my quiet time each day so i finally decided to research it more

According to Websters dictionary steadfast means:

1.Firmly fixed in place; immovable

2.Firm in belief; determination, or adherence.

and love means:

1.Unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.

2.The object of attachment,devotion, and admiration

So to trust in the STEADFAST LOVE of the Lord as the verse states above we are saying that we fully believe he is immovable, determined, loyal and has the deepest concern for us than we could ever begin to imagine. I really cannot tell you how many times i have run across this word just in the past few weeks but it was most definitely for a reason. Last night a friend of mine said, "sometimes i forget God is for me" She then went on to say " I guess sometimes i expect him to condemn me for the sins i have committed, but he is for me all the time" As we all sat in the room and listened to her speak i realized just how true that is. How many of us are guilty of putting God in a box? I know I am! I find this to be hilarious because God is God and even if i wake up with the mindset to know everything about God that i can learn i will NEVER be able to fathom all of him! How incredible is that?! He is that BIG, that POWERFUL!! See we not only have the privilege to spend time with the creator of the universe each day, but he has no END!! His greatness is always going to amaze you, and even better, We will never quit learning!! 

"Your steadfast love, O Lord extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds. Your 

righteousness is like the mountains of God!"

Psalm 36:5-6

*By the way I have to give props to my friend caroline who took the 

awesome picture above! love you!

"Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom!"

"Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free."

Psalm 118:5

Dad,

As I sit in my college dorm room today I cannot help but think of you. It is so cool to think that exactly 31 years ago from today you were also a freshman at Troy University living right across the street from my dorm in the famous "Alumni Hall" It was on the first floor of that building that you surrendered your life to Jesus and havn't turned back since! That very day, changed your life forever, and a day I know you will always hold dear to your heart. Its always been so cool to me of how your walk with Christ began, but to be here and go to the school you went to has made it mean even more. Not only have I been so blessed to be able to attend a University as great as Troy, but its this very campus that had a huge impact on who I am today. Because of what the Lord has done in your life, my life has been molded as a result. The blessing to have been raised in a Godly home, and to be a a "PK" would never had happened had you not said YES to Jesus that very night! So thank you for not only being an incredible father, but for painting a beautiful picture of what following Christ truly looks like. I love you

Sisters at last!!

Not only do I have the joy of calling this beautiful young woman my big sis, my sister in Christ, but now also my sister in Chi Omega!! I love you!

Me and one of my best friends blair at the bowling alley after Initiation!!

It is so exciting to finally say i am officially a sister of Chi Omega! I went through recruitment this summer, and on bid day pledged chi omega but was only a new member until this weekend! Chi Omega is the last sorority on campus to initiate girls because we wait for grades to come out, and i like to think they save the best for last! So Me, along with 33 of my newly initiated sisters have now become part of the sisterhood of Chi Omega and it is awesome!! It truly has been such a blessing to find such Godly, genuine, classy girls, and now I have the joy of not only having them as my sisters in Christ but also in Chi Omega! I know many of you may be thinking, wow, could a sorority really mean that much but it does and i know i have a few followers who can relate (Hooty-Hoo!!)

 College has been such a great experience over the past year, and i am beyond blessed to have such a great group of friends in my midst, The lord never ceases to amaze me, He truly is worthy to be praised!!

"You make known to me the path of  life;in your presence there is fullness of joy;at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

Psalm 16:11

To 2009!!

So I have made a decision to blog more and to not use the internet unless i have a purpose. It is so easy to "justify" as a college student why I surf the internet, but the truth is i have wasted a lot of time looking at stuff that has no worth, and hopefully i will put this into practice this upcoming semester. Leading into that one of my new years resolution was to log into facebook only once a day,( if that) and to not even think about getting on unless i have spent my time with the Lord. I had the amazing opportunity to go to ATL with campus outreach here in Troy over new years and the Lord brought me to a place of humility that i have never been before! It was during the conference that i realized i was not only allowing the Lord to take me to the next level in my walk with Him, but i was content with where i was, and this kind of contentment was not where i wanted to be. It was then that i realized i must first admit i am not where i wanted to be, and allow the Lord to step in and bring me to his feet and say i need you, not just half of you not in a box where i have been putting you, but i want ALL of you, and I want to go wherever and do whatever you have called me to do! All of this begin to unfold as i was laying in the hotel room with two of my closest friends and as i began to verbalize just where i was, they begin to share similar feelings. It was the coolest thing, and a moment i will forever cherish. It was so evident the Lords presence was in the room, and his mercy was pouring into each of our lives as we admitted, we are ALL sinners, we ALL fall short, and whether we struggle with gossip rather than drinking SIN is SIN and not even ONE of us is worthy! From that night on i have begun to wake up each morning with a new perspective of who I am and just how great redemption is. I encouarge you to begin spending time in the word each day, its a new year and our dear savior is waiting to spend time with you ...let him love you!!

Check out youversion.com It's a day to day walkthrough of the bible and by the end of the year 2009 you would have read the entire thing!! 

Part of todays was Psalm 18

verse 30 stuck out to me:

"This God-his way is perfect, the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him."